While having a heated conversation with my ex-boyfriend online, he mentioned that my depression made him sympathize with me and that’s why he faked being in love with me for months until he couldn’t take the burden anymore, and that’s why he dumped me. Nothing ever broke my heart more than those words in my entire life, and I have been through the worse, which includes harassment by cousin, abusive father and some serious abandonment issues. One statement by a man I barely knew for one year broke my heart, my will, and self-esteem.
Ladies, there is nothing wrong with being in love but do not let your partner define everything in your life. I have done this once, and I’m never doing this thing again. I cried, I smoked, I drank and even drugged myself because one heart break made me question my self-worth. Your self-worth or your love for yourself is the most sincere and authentic part of your body, do not give it away for someone who doesn’t know how to respect you.
Learn to stand up for yourself and carry an individual identity for yourself. Do not let a man define everything in your life. Never let struggle embarrass you or feel cheap. If you are failing, don’t be upset. The hard work is your advantage and failing is a stepping stone to success. Disappointment is always going to be there, never lose hope. Flip your hair and keep moving on.
Always be honest with yourself, do not let love blind you so much that you stop seeing that thin line between mockery and insults. You can let someone advise you, but the final decision will be yours, be it financial or what you are going to eat or wear- it is always going to be yours. Do not turn into water and fit in the bowl people are trying to fit you into. People’s name calling, doubting, slut shaming or cooking up stories won’t define you, only you can define yourself and your hard work. You have to work on just one person’s expectations- that is you.
Do not forget to love your close friends and family unconditionally and always wear a smile; nothing can brighten up your mood and add a little positivity to your days than a smile. Trust yourself enough, trust your idea enough, one day you will leave a mark on the world. Don’t forget to take the risk, be okay with failure, be bold, let your goals engaged and don’t let monetary profits define success.
Never say anything remotely disgusting about someone you were with, never talk shit. It was just a bad relationship, and just like other bad things, it will be replaced by better memories. Never lose your dignity or decency to anyone. In life, there are no short cuts, be it to finding a life partner, or working on your dreams, projects or anything. Do not let anyone play with your integrity for temporary pleasures in life.
Never sacrifice your dreams for anyone. If your love is pure, your dreams won’t be yours anymore. There will be no adjustments, favors, compromises or anything remotely close with your partner. It will be two people equally dedicated toward building something meaningful.